Posted in Dating

10 Tips on dating an older woman

2013-10-05 13.45.19What is the lure of older women for younger men? Some would say this is  because older women and younger men want sex so it’s a win/win situation. Others would say that age is not a factor and when it’s right it’s right. But maybe dating a younger man makes an older woman feel youthful again. Personally, I am flattered when a younger man wants to date me as it makes me feel as young as I look and feel.

Here are 10 tips for younger men dating an older woman:

1.  Beware of treating an older women as a “Mommy”. If you’re dating an older woman it is important that you look at the relationship as any other. She is not your “mommy”. This can be demeaning to an older woman and make her walk away from you.

2.  Do not consider an older woman a “booty call”. If your only seeking great, hot sex, then you need to be upfront about this. Don’t assume that the woman you are dating will only want you for sex. Older women want quality relationships with sex as only one factor.

3.  Younger men need to pursue an older woman just like they would a younger female. Older women are not any different from a younger women in the dating sense. Sure older women are more secure in who she is and isn’t and she may also have a rockin’ career. Just treat her as any other woman when getting to know her.

4.  Always remember older women are ok being alone. There is a common misconception that older women are “desperate” or “need” a  male. Of course, this is not true in the majority of cases as older women are just more secure in most areas of her life. Look at it like an older woman prefer’s you in her life. She doesn’t need you.

5.  Communication is key to making this type of relationship work. This is perhaps the most important aspect of the older women younger man relationship. If you communicate exactly what you’re seeking in her and her in you, then everything will just flow smooth.

6.  Avoid labels. Do not refer to an older woman as a “cougar” nor should there be reference to her being a “sugar momma”. By avoiding these labels, you are respecting the relationship.

7.   Avoid discussing age unless absolutely necessary. There is no need to mention her age as an older woman is well aware of her age and how old you are.

8.  If it’s more than sex, take things slow. Sure the sex is hot but if your desire is leaning towards more of a relationship than actually date. Get to know her without the bedroom.

9.  Be Assertive when asking an older woman out. Be direct as there is nothing sexier to a woman then a man who knows what he wants.

10. Older women are from a different dating era. This is very important to me personally, as dating rules have changed. If an older woman offers to go “dutch” or pay for the meal, decline and insist that you pay. If you don’t she will automatically think your not worthy of her attention. Insist that its your pleasure to pay as this will show her you have class and can take care of her needs outside of the bedroom.

Bottom Line:

Recently I have been contacted by younger men on the MeetMe website. Yes, I am dating and seek only online since I am not into hanging out at bars. In fact, just this past weekend I went out with a 29-year-old gentlemen who stated he was “taken with me”.  I am 45 and was quite floored that a hot 6’6 29-year-old would be interested in me.

After our dinner date he wanted to get a hotel room to, and as he put it, “cuddle”. To which I laughed and stated, “Don’t you mean have great sex?” He replied, “I am not like that. I happen to find you very attractive and sexy and can control myself while cuddling.” (Yea right! LOL) Needless to say, “cuddling” with me in a hotel room was not happening…at least not that night.

While I understand the attraction of how a younger man is attracted to me as an older, hot, experienced woman, I am also careful. For me, it’s not about being alone or “needing” a man. At this point in my life I do know what I want from a man…and that is to be loved in the real sense.

As an older woman, I am beyond just wanting sex even though the lucky man will (no matter the age of the man) get his fill and then some. For me it’s about quality not the quantity. The above 10 tips are what I came up with based on the fact that the last 4 dates I have been on are all men who are in their late 20’s or early 30’s.


I am the person who gives excellent advice. Yes, I am that good! I am a writer, a mom, a Nana (yes hard to believe I know!), a professional, educated, and has the ability to look at anything objectively. I write about everything and anything. I do this because there are many facets in my life. I am also a Coffee Lover and that alone makes me awesome. ~Me

4 thoughts on “10 Tips on dating an older woman

  1. It is a good article. I think now all women are the same. Younger men who date older women or a cougar is popular today. Not all men are the same. Some of them prefer to date a matured lady while some like their money. So, most of these young guys are not supportive but depend on their women. So, power and materials are two things that most young men and old women relationships happen. Older women are seeking younger men because they guys can make them feel younger. That’s what I think.

  2. I’m 22 currently dating a 39 year old woman. I would just like to say that number 5 should be number one if your actually looking for a relationship. Why stop there though? Make it more noticeable because communication is not only the most important part of this kind of relationship; it’s the most difficult. From something as simple as asking for sex which the younger party may not be so comfortable with, to letting her know you don’t care about the weird looks you get. Simply telling her how you feel and how you want her to feel will fix most issues. It sounds easy enough but it’s something I had to learn. Above all don’t give up though I’m the happiest I’ve been in a long time.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.