Posted in Dating

Long Distance Relationships: How to make them work


Ahhh the joys of meeting someone new online. You text everyday and talk often. You begin to slowly have feelings for this person that you may or may not have met over a period of time. Everyday you think about this person. Everyday you cant wait to text or call or schedule the next flight to see him or her. You begin to think that everyday brings you closer to the one you love. But what if this person is 1000 miles from you?LDR

Long distance relationships are now more common than most realize. I can guarantee you know someone now that is in a long distance relationship. Whether this person be a friend, family member, neighbor, co-worker, or even you.

I took on a poll on Google + and Facebook about long distance relationships. I asked how individuals felt about long distance relationships. The findings were rather interesting. Women were more skeptical of long distance relationships then men. Most of the men who responded stated they believed in this type of relationship and that love conquers all.

Some of the men commented:

“It is dependant on the feelings of the people in the relationship. If the feelings are strong enough distance doesn’t matter. I like to believe love can conquer all and if someone is willing they can make any situation work.”

“First, how committed are both people? It is important that trust and love really is at a high… That there are communication lots and lots of communication.. And understanding that it doesn’t matter the distance, being faithful is important because it is the right thing to do, and also because there’s love…And in the meantime, there must be a decision on who is going to move and work towards that… To find ways to see each other… Physically because there must be that feeling burn in your mind and heart the way he or she smell, the way it feels her skin, her hair, her Hugs, her Kisses, her perfume and the way she feels when cuddling or making love.”
 
“I’m one who believes, if you like someone, you go for it…You show her your true intentions and if she feels the same, open the heart and see what happens… Knowing that you’ll be treated the way you should!”
 
 
Women  had a different view:
 

“I do not believe in long distance, I just believe that the whole reason of being in a relationship is companionship, that involves a lot of emotional, physical and mental nurturing which are best felt directly and on minute to minute….”

“Love is not measured by distance or how often you talk, but you need to be strong if you’re in long distance relationship bec. its lot of trials. For me I don’t  believe in long distance relationship. In my own experience & the experience if people around me never worked. Just think of this couple that so close together still have time/chance to cheat how much more if your miles away from each other.”

“It’s all dependent on individuals dear. But personally I wouldn’t operate on long distance relationships. What’s the key factor of solidifying a relationship? I believe it’s the time spent together that really matters here. But again there are people who do quite well in these kind of relationships so i cannot fully rule out that what’s applicable to me is applicable to everyone else. If its long distance, how often do you get to be together? Are you comfortable having your partner so far away from you? Are you ready to withstand all that urge to be with them when they really can’t be there with you? So many questions to consider. I also believe that distance has a way of draining away feelings of romance and without you knowing you end up being more of social media friends. My take.”
 
 
If you are in a long distance relationship, here are some helpful tips:
 
1. Communicate everyday: This is the most important part of a long distance relationship is to communicate everyday. At times this can be challenging but communication is essential for making a long distance relationship work. You can communicate by phone, text, email, Facebook, Google+, or any other social media outlet.
 

2. Visit each other often: It would seem obvious but its harder than it sounds. A person tends to put off making plans to see the other person over time as two people get comfortable conversing by phone or other methods. If you put it off too long it becomes easy to “talk” with other individuals and basically let the relationship take a back seat. Actually seeing each other and touching one another by hugging, kissing etc. is what cements the relationship. It is very important that two people see each other as often as possible when in a long distance relationship.

3. Be positive: Always be positive and kind-hearted while getting to know each other. Long distance relationships push a person to be more creative so expressing a positive attitude and being sensitive is paramount to keeping the relationship alive and healthy. Everyday you should communicate to your partner something positive. This can be as simple as a compliment or daily edification.

4. Avoid temptation to be controlling: Once you get comfortable talking and texting each other its difficult not to want to control what the other is doing. For instance, you may want to call your long distance partner but he or she may have other plans and can’t talk. You would then make it seem like they he or she is putting their plans or others ahead of you. This is controlling behavior. Try to avoid controlling behavior by giving the relationship the space it needs. If your partner was local you would not be spending each and every minute with this person anyway.

5. Make sure you are both clear on the parameters of the relationship: Communication is key here. Once you have decided you have met the love of your life, it is paramount that both individuals discuss how the relationship is going to work. You can do this by discussing short-term and long-term goals for the relationship. Define what is important for each person and be willing to meet each others needs.

Links:

Activities you can do together while far apart.

Author:

I am the person who gives excellent advice. Yes, I am that good! I am a writer, a mom, a Nana (yes hard to believe I know!), a professional, educated, and has the ability to look at anything objectively. I write about everything and anything. I do this because there are many facets in my life. I am also a Coffee Lover and that alone makes me awesome. ~Me

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