Ahhh the joys of meeting someone new online. You text everyday and talk often. You begin to slowly have feelings for this person that you may or may not have met over a period of time. Everyday you think about this person. Everyday you cant wait to text or call or schedule the next flight to see him or her. You begin to think that everyday brings you closer to the one you love. But what if this person is 1000 miles from you?
Long distance relationships are now more common than most realize. I can guarantee you know someone now that is in a long distance relationship. Whether this person be a friend, family member, neighbor, co-worker, or even you.
I took on a poll on Google + and Facebook about long distance relationships. I asked how individuals felt about long distance relationships. The findings were rather interesting. Women were more skeptical of long distance relationships then men. Most of the men who responded stated they believed in this type of relationship and that love conquers all.
Some of the men commented:
“It is dependant on the feelings of the people in the relationship. If the feelings are strong enough distance doesn’t matter. I like to believe love can conquer all and if someone is willing they can make any situation work.”
“I do not believe in long distance, I just believe that the whole reason of being in a relationship is companionship, that involves a lot of emotional, physical and mental nurturing which are best felt directly and on minute to minute….”
“Love is not measured by distance or how often you talk, but you need to be strong if you’re in long distance relationship bec. its lot of trials. For me I don’t believe in long distance relationship. In my own experience & the experience if people around me never worked. Just think of this couple that so close together still have time/chance to cheat how much more if your miles away from each other.”
2. Visit each other often: It would seem obvious but its harder than it sounds. A person tends to put off making plans to see the other person over time as two people get comfortable conversing by phone or other methods. If you put it off too long it becomes easy to “talk” with other individuals and basically let the relationship take a back seat. Actually seeing each other and touching one another by hugging, kissing etc. is what cements the relationship. It is very important that two people see each other as often as possible when in a long distance relationship.
3. Be positive: Always be positive and kind-hearted while getting to know each other. Long distance relationships push a person to be more creative so expressing a positive attitude and being sensitive is paramount to keeping the relationship alive and healthy. Everyday you should communicate to your partner something positive. This can be as simple as a compliment or daily edification.
4. Avoid temptation to be controlling: Once you get comfortable talking and texting each other its difficult not to want to control what the other is doing. For instance, you may want to call your long distance partner but he or she may have other plans and can’t talk. You would then make it seem like they he or she is putting their plans or others ahead of you. This is controlling behavior. Try to avoid controlling behavior by giving the relationship the space it needs. If your partner was local you would not be spending each and every minute with this person anyway.
5. Make sure you are both clear on the parameters of the relationship: Communication is key here. Once you have decided you have met the love of your life, it is paramount that both individuals discuss how the relationship is going to work. You can do this by discussing short-term and long-term goals for the relationship. Define what is important for each person and be willing to meet each others needs.