Posted in Relationships

Can men and women be friends?


The old adage is true: the number of true friends you have can be counted on one hand. A true friend is an effortless relationship in a judgement free zone. True friends share the good and the bad in each others life. You are moral support for each other. A real friend is rare. You’ve known this best friend forever. This best friend happens to be a member of the opposite sex.

Can you only be friends with him or her?

man-woman-friends

For the most part women tend to be more honest in opposite sex friendships than men. Men tend to view women on a sexual level. Why? Well, the experts say it is because men are wired different from women. The results are this; men will at some point want to be more than friends with a female friend or at the very least “think” about having sex with her. Women will stay with a male friend (non-sexual) for the emotional and physical support he may give. Women will put their male friends in the “friend zone” which men hate.

There are exceptions though. For those that are true friends here is a list of what to look for if your friend of either sex wants more in the relationship.

How do you identify if your really only a friend?

~If you get jealous of your friend around another of the opposite sex. This means that if you feel possessive of the relationship to the point that you do not want your friend to have opposite sex relationships than you look at this person as more than a friend.

~You want to spend unusual amounts of time with this person. Friends don’t plan or focus on times spent together. So if you want to spend more than the average of once or twice a week with your friend than you maybe wanting more than friendship.

~You’re physically attracted to your friend. This is sort of no-brainer. If you look at your friend and think they are hot and would love to see more of him or her than you are definitely looking at your friend as more than a friend.

~You daydream about your friend in a romantic way. Daydreaming about your friend in a romantic sense is actually more common than people realize. This does not mean that you want to be with that person sexually but you do need evaluate why you are thinking that way to begin with. Maybe it is time to have a conversation with your friend about taking the friendship to another level.

The bottom line is this: Men who say they can be friends with a woman and ONLY be friends maybe trying to hide the fact he is attracted to his female friend (s). Unless the man is gay. Sorry guys but if you don’t believe me just click on the links from the pro’s.

Links:

~Psychology Today: Can men and women be just friends?

~Huffington Post: Can men and women be “just friends”?

~Watch this video showing men admitting they want to be more than friends

Author:

I am the person who gives excellent advice. Yes, I am that good! I am a writer, a mom, a Nana (yes hard to believe I know!), a professional, educated, and has the ability to look at anything objectively. I write about everything and anything. I do this because there are many facets in my life. I am also a Coffee Lover and that alone makes me awesome. ~Me

7 thoughts on “Can men and women be friends?

  1. I agree with you on all points. My contention is that men cannot adhere to any of these points. So by default, in general, my opinion is that men and women cannot be friends. 🙂

      1. I think men being wired that way is God telling us that men and women can be colleagues with boundaries and guard rails. That’s it. And if either is in a commited relationship, their partners are to take up so much of their lives they would have no time for friendships of the opposite sex.

  2. I think that men and woman can be friends but ONLY after it’s established it will never be anything more. When a man and woman start getting to know each other/hanging out, I believe that at least one of them is attracted to the other and wants more. Otherwise, where is the urge and initiating to hang out? Only when one person then “friend zones” the other, can strict friendship begin. Sure, one person might continue to want more from the other, but at that point they are just friends.

    1. Even if each party never intends to be more than friends, the fact that it’s a topic in this blog means that there is a cultural perception that implies that at the very least that it is complicated. More proof, in my eyes, that a friendship is impossible. 🙂

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