Posted in Dating

Long Distance Relationships: How to make them work

Ahhh the joys of meeting someone new online. You text everyday and talk often. You begin to slowly have feelings for this person that you may or may not have met over a period of time. Everyday you think about this person. Everyday you cant wait to text or call or schedule the next flight to see him or her. You begin to think that everyday brings you closer to the one you love. But what if this person is 1000 miles from you?LDR

Long distance relationships are now more common than most realize. I can guarantee you know someone now that is in a long distance relationship. Whether this person be a friend, family member, neighbor, co-worker, or even you.

I took on a poll on Google + and Facebook about long distance relationships. I asked how individuals felt about long distance relationships. The findings were rather interesting. Women were more skeptical of long distance relationships then men. Most of the men who responded stated they believed in this type of relationship and that love conquers all.

Some of the men commented:

“It is dependant on the feelings of the people in the relationship. If the feelings are strong enough distance doesn’t matter. I like to believe love can conquer all and if someone is willing they can make any situation work.”

“First, how committed are both people? It is important that trust and love really is at a high… That there are communication lots and lots of communication.. And understanding that it doesn’t matter the distance, being faithful is important because it is the right thing to do, and also because there’s love…And in the meantime, there must be a decision on who is going to move and work towards that… To find ways to see each other… Physically because there must be that feeling burn in your mind and heart the way he or she smell, the way it feels her skin, her hair, her Hugs, her Kisses, her perfume and the way she feels when cuddling or making love.”
 
“I’m one who believes, if you like someone, you go for it…You show her your true intentions and if she feels the same, open the heart and see what happens… Knowing that you’ll be treated the way you should!”
 
 
Women  had a different view:
 

“I do not believe in long distance, I just believe that the whole reason of being in a relationship is companionship, that involves a lot of emotional, physical and mental nurturing which are best felt directly and on minute to minute….”

“Love is not measured by distance or how often you talk, but you need to be strong if you’re in long distance relationship bec. its lot of trials. For me I don’t  believe in long distance relationship. In my own experience & the experience if people around me never worked. Just think of this couple that so close together still have time/chance to cheat how much more if your miles away from each other.”

“It’s all dependent on individuals dear. But personally I wouldn’t operate on long distance relationships. What’s the key factor of solidifying a relationship? I believe it’s the time spent together that really matters here. But again there are people who do quite well in these kind of relationships so i cannot fully rule out that what’s applicable to me is applicable to everyone else. If its long distance, how often do you get to be together? Are you comfortable having your partner so far away from you? Are you ready to withstand all that urge to be with them when they really can’t be there with you? So many questions to consider. I also believe that distance has a way of draining away feelings of romance and without you knowing you end up being more of social media friends. My take.”
 
 
If you are in a long distance relationship, here are some helpful tips:
 
1. Communicate everyday: This is the most important part of a long distance relationship is to communicate everyday. At times this can be challenging but communication is essential for making a long distance relationship work. You can communicate by phone, text, email, Facebook, Google+, or any other social media outlet.
 

2. Visit each other often: It would seem obvious but its harder than it sounds. A person tends to put off making plans to see the other person over time as two people get comfortable conversing by phone or other methods. If you put it off too long it becomes easy to “talk” with other individuals and basically let the relationship take a back seat. Actually seeing each other and touching one another by hugging, kissing etc. is what cements the relationship. It is very important that two people see each other as often as possible when in a long distance relationship.

3. Be positive: Always be positive and kind-hearted while getting to know each other. Long distance relationships push a person to be more creative so expressing a positive attitude and being sensitive is paramount to keeping the relationship alive and healthy. Everyday you should communicate to your partner something positive. This can be as simple as a compliment or daily edification.

4. Avoid temptation to be controlling: Once you get comfortable talking and texting each other its difficult not to want to control what the other is doing. For instance, you may want to call your long distance partner but he or she may have other plans and can’t talk. You would then make it seem like they he or she is putting their plans or others ahead of you. This is controlling behavior. Try to avoid controlling behavior by giving the relationship the space it needs. If your partner was local you would not be spending each and every minute with this person anyway.

5. Make sure you are both clear on the parameters of the relationship: Communication is key here. Once you have decided you have met the love of your life, it is paramount that both individuals discuss how the relationship is going to work. You can do this by discussing short-term and long-term goals for the relationship. Define what is important for each person and be willing to meet each others needs.

Links:

Activities you can do together while far apart.

Posted in Special Days

Today is International Woman’s Day

I am a woman.
I am strong and kind.
I am loving and intelligent.
I am soft.
There is no one like me and I am not like anyone else.
I am unique.
I come from different backgrounds and nationalities.
I come in different colors.
I add life to the world.
I am a woman. ~Me

Happy International Woman’s Day!

IAMWoman

Posted in Monthly Weight Loss

February 2014 Weight Loss

2014-03-01 11.49.022014-03-01 10.55.102014-03-01 13.02.36

Here are my stats for February 2014:

Weight Loss Goal 2014: 50 lbs

Pounds to Lose:  45 lbs

Monthly Pounds Lost for February 2014: 0 lbs (maintained)

Inches lost: 0 (maintained)

February was a horrible month for weight loss. But then again I did not gain a pound either. I should be happy for that but I just can’t help but feel like a failure.

I recently had someone advise me on losing weight. LOL

I asked this person, “Have you ever been overweight?” of course, they responded “no”.

I replied, “Then you would not understand.”

To which he stated, “It’s as simple as eating less and exercising more.” Then he went to suggest the Lap Band. LOL

I wish it were as simple as eating less and exercising more. Sigh…but the Lap Band is not the answer either. One of the things I have learned during my excruciatingly slow weight loss journey is that I had to learn what works for me and my body. This doesn’t happen quickly or within a few months. Maybe if I was in my 20’s it could be that way. My doctor said my body does not lose weight like a normal person and I have to be very patient. I am going to continue to be patient and let my body lead me to skinniness.

By the way, I finally took a full length pic…BE NICE!

Posted in Monthly Weight Loss

January 2014 Weight Loss

2014-02-01 12.35.29

This year I am going to lose 50 pounds. Notice I said, I am going to lose 50 pounds. Not that I plan to lose or that I intend to lose. I believe affirming what your saying is 75% of the battle. The other 25% is actually doing. But with anything it all begins in the mind.

I know this is somewhat late getting started for the year, but to tell you the truth I have been busy. I am going to keep myself accountable by doing a present weight loss-weight gain-no weight loss at the end of every month.

Here are my stats for January 2014:

Weight Loss Goal 2014: 50 lbs

Monthly Pounds Lost for January 2014: 5 lbs

Pounds to Lose:  45 lbs

Inches lost: 1′ rib, 1′ waist, and 1.5′ hip

January 2014 was a time for me to reflect on what my new weight loss goal would be since I lost only 3 lbs during the holidays. Which in the grand scheme of things is not bad but would have been better if it was like 10 lbs. I stated away from alcohol and ate normal for most days. I did not let people pressure me to overeat. I have learned to politely decline when I am not hungry.

In March 2014 will be one year with no cold drinks. I have to say that to date, I honestly don’t miss them, even Diet Mountain Dew.

I know this is late for January but I promise to post February’s weight loss/gain in a more timely manner. 🙂

Posted in Dating

If he is not calling or texting; he is not into you

In January 2014 I started seeing someone who currently I am not seeing anymore. I have known this man for 2 years off and on as we communicated only by online, phone, and text communication. I met him for the first time right after the New Year and we started seeing each other as time would allow us both. I have to admit I enjoyed his kisses and massages very much.

Then in the third week of us seeing each other he states he has to leave to Texas for a job that will last 3-4 months. Right up until he leaves I am  telling him how much I am going to miss him. I make time for him; to spend as much time together as possible thinking he is feeling the same way. He assured me we would talk often while he is gone, and text daily as we have been. I told him I didn’t want him to see anyone while he was gone. He assured me things had changed for him too and that he would miss me as well.

The day he leaves Friday, we are talking and texting. The next day or the first official day he is there….nothing. So I text and try to call him. Nothing. Then on Sunday morning he texts with “good morning”.  We talk shortly after that and I am upset with him since he has not answered his phone or texted. He ends up hanging up on me stating he doesn’t like confrontation. I was stunned. I texted him telling him he has hurt me by his behavior.  He texts back that he will text me when he stops as he was heading to the local Zoo and that he was not in contact because he has had the “shits” all day. LOL yea that’s what he actually texted.

He has yet to text or call me since that last text on Sunday.

player

I honestly don’t know what to make of a man who leaves for work in another state and all the sudden does not call or text anymore. This after calling me everyday and texting all the time, along with being intimate. Dumb me for believing when he said he was not like other men.  One word: PLAYER. It seems like this is what is in the dating field lately. I wonder if anyone wants to be with someone permanently anymore. Romance seems to be dead as I have yet to meet a man who will go to great lengths to, even in the smallest way, spoil me. Sigh…

What’s sad is I somewhat allowed this kind of behavior. But I am learning with each PLAYER how to handle the next. Doesn’t matter whether you are thin or fat, this is simply how men are to ladies. Grant you some men will hang around longer if they have nothing better to do with their time as being with someone keeps them from being totally alone. But lets face it, most men only want to play around and if you are not giving them sex they won’t come around.

I know not all men are like this. I do know we live in a culture now that being single has surpassed being married. Whatever happened to two people, a man and a woman, staying together and making it work?

Update:

I posted general information on Facebook that I am no longer seeing this man. All the sudden other men are asking to date me and be given a chance to get to know me. Since I was never taken by this man I am going to continue to date. One of these men contacts me and was a previous suitor that only wanted sex; even though he has adamantly stated he wants a best friend. LOL Yea I seem to attract them.

Bottom Line Ladies:

If he is  not calling or texting; he is not into you.

If he is not wanting to spend every single second of his free time with you; he is not into you.

If he is not romancing you and doing everything to make you smile; he is not into you.

Nothing will stop a man from being with you when he really wants to be with you. Men are simple like that.

Posted in Review: Movies

Review: The Legend of Hercules PG-13

Kell Kell’s Rating: 7/10

Hercules

This past weekend I went with a date to see The Legend of Hercules. This film was a good thrill ride and worth the price of admission. I had wanted to see this movie in 3D as some of the scenes would have been even more awesome in 3D but alas the time frame was not convenient for the 3D version.

Directed By: Renny Harlin

Movie Time: 99 min or 1hr. 39 minutes

Movie Budget: 70,000,000

Opening Weekend: $8,600,000  (January 10, 2014)

To Date: $8,600,000

The Legend of Hercules was a decent film which actually held my interest even through I was on a date with a handsome man. (smiling) I gave this movie a 7 out of 10 rating because The Legend of Hercules could have been better. For instance, this film was based on a mythical Greek demigod but  had a more humanistic approach instead of a mythical one. There was an  expectation to see mythical creatures and more of a background into Zeus which just wasn’t a part of this film.

The actors were decent with Hercules, Kellan Lutz,  being the true hero; Queen Alcmene, Roxanne McKee, as the devoted mom to her son Hercules; and Hebe, Gaia Weiss, who possesses the true love of Hercules. The true love between Hercules and Hebe is believable with Hercules saving her from a prearranged marriage to his older brother Iphicles, Liam Garrigan. King Amphitryon, Scott Adkins, is the typical blood thirsty king who rules with an iron fist but is ultimately defeated by Hercules.

The story line was interesting but as stated in the previous paragraph there was the missing elements of the Greek mythology of the great Hercules. I wanted to see some mythical creatures and more on the god Zeus which just wasn’t present in this film. The only real-time Zeus is introduced is when the queen is being impregnated by an invisible god.

Overall, this is film has the action, romance, the heroic underdog, and great fight scenes. The film is worth seeing even though missing certain Greek mythical elements. The Legend of Hercules is a solid film and worth seeing on the big screen. Just make sure you see it in 3D.

Posted in News Related

Christians! Its time to take a stand!

Dear Fellow Christians,

It’s time to take a stand! I know you have probably heard this many times but there is a movement to destroy Christian values and our religious rights. What I am asking all Christians to do is to not be afraid to proclaim your faith in God, the most awesome Father, and His son Jesus. Some of you may or may not know that I am a Christian. I say this loudly. Many people in my life are not Christians nor do they believe the way I do and that’s ok as we live in a diverse country with many beliefs. However, there is an ideal that I am not entitled to “my voice” because of the fact that I am a Christian.

grace

There is also a stigma that being a Christian makes you “weak-minded” which is ignorant of the people whom actually believe this. This is why it’s time for Christian’s all around the world to take a stand. Yes, I was actually called “weak-minded” for being a Christian. It’s almost laughable really.

Over the past couple of months, the Duck Dynasty show has come under attack because of some statements Phil Robertson stated pertaining to sin and sinful lifestyles. Now, I have never watched Duck Dynasty but I understand what Robertson is saying. Robertson is being attacked simply because he is a Christian and expressing Christian beliefs publicly. The LGBT communities have all been in an uproar over Robertson’s comments regarding sinful lifestyles. Why? I have no clue. If there was one group I believed to be more tolerant of all beliefs, it would be the LGBT communities. Personally, this has affected me. A friend of mine is gay. This friend took offense to the fact that I agreed with Phil Robertson. What I find most amazing is this individual can go on and on about the LGBT lifestyle, beliefs, new laws etc.. but yet cannot respect another view that is different from his.

HatedForMyName

This friend ended up asking me to leave his home which I did. This hurt bad, but I took a stand.  The Holman Christian Standard Bible states in Matthew 10:22 “You will be hated by everyone because of My name. But the one who endures to the end will be delivered.” This verse has a new meaning to me. I realized when leaving my friend’s home that even people I love and care for will hate me for being a Christian. It is extremely important that traditional Christian values and beliefs are upheld just as any other religious organization or group. I forgive my friend for his intolerance of my beliefs and values and still respect his. Him and I used to agree to disagree but in this case, he wont budge…which deeply saddens me.

In summary, I am asking all Christians to take a stand. Take a stand for what is right and just. Take a stand for Jesus our Savior that came here as a man to die on the cross for mine and your many sins. Take a stand when your beliefs and values are challenged and be prepared to discuss those beliefs and values and what they represent to you in respectful way.

A question to think about: Would you defend the Savior to those that oppose Christian beliefs, values, and the Word of God?

Posted in Healthy Living

Are you ready to lose weight?

Are you ready to lose weight? Did you make losing weight one of your New Year’s resolutions? Focusing on your health and well-being should be a priority before losing weight. I know this to be true as once I made healthier choices and ate less the weight just slowly started coming off. Grant you I have a long way to go before I am done losing but I have started on a path that I am building on for a healthier future. In order to be healthier one must take baby steps. The first step though is always the hardest and one must have a solid foundation in order to be successful.

Scale

Here are some lessons learned from last years weight loss.

Changing old habits: This is much tougher than it sounds. The first thing I did was start eating less. I ate whatever I wanted (baby step for me) but ate less of everything. I lost weight right away by simply doing this. Then I focused on making healthier choices. This was tough I will admit, but I promise once you start and get used to eating healthier it will become a part of your daily eating.

Begin with baby steps. Take my advice and go slow. Taking baby steps will ensure a  permanent lifestyle change. I can no longer eat large portions of food and even if I have foods like brownies, cookies, or the like, I still don’t gain a pound.

Make your well-being a priority: Ask yourself this, “What is the purpose of my weight loss?” Most would answer the purpose is to be healthier and look great. Right? In essence this is correct however, you have to decide what is important in this regard. No one can make you change. Only you can. Being healthy is beyond weight loss. A focus on being healthier ensures your body is getting vital nutrients to maintain important functions.

Changing your lifestyle to fit your healthier living: To succeed with new lifestyle changes you have to replace old habits with new ones. Of course, this is easier said than done but it’s well worth the time and patience. I started by eliminating fast food. It took about 3 months for me to accomplish this. I did fail a couple of times and ran to the border for nachos. (the small nachos of course) LOL But I never gave up so now I simply do not eat fast food nor do I even miss that kind of food. The cravings for fast food went away too.

Mountain

Next I stopped drinking cold drinks. Let me tell you this was a hard one for me. I absolutely love Diet Mountain Dew! I would drink this daily. For me, I had to wean myself down. I would drink quite a bit of  Diet Mountain Dew so I started with half the normal amount. Then when I was ready (about a month later) I went from that half amount to half of the half amount. Then one day I just did not drink it at all. It worked! Over a period of about 2 months I was off all cola type of drinks.

Be patient when you fail: When you do fail or have a day where you over do it, just begin again with the very next meal. I have learned that when I make a food mistake I just start with my next meal and eat as planned. Don’t give up simply because of a bad day or one meal that went wrong. Just start with the next meal and plan better for the future. It’s ok to fail sometimes as this shows you where your weaknesses are and how to overcome them. Look at failing as a way to learn to be better next time. The hardest part of failing is to forgive yourself and forget about the mistake. Then move forward. After all you cannot change what is done but you can change how you react to that same situation in the future.