Posted in Dating

10 Tips on dating an older woman

2013-10-05 13.45.19What is the lure of older women for younger men? Some would say this is  because older women and younger men want sex so it’s a win/win situation. Others would say that age is not a factor and when it’s right it’s right. But maybe dating a younger man makes an older woman feel youthful again. Personally, I am flattered when a younger man wants to date me as it makes me feel as young as I look and feel.

Here are 10 tips for younger men dating an older woman:

1.  Beware of treating an older women as a “Mommy”. If you’re dating an older woman it is important that you look at the relationship as any other. She is not your “mommy”. This can be demeaning to an older woman and make her walk away from you.

2.  Do not consider an older woman a “booty call”. If your only seeking great, hot sex, then you need to be upfront about this. Don’t assume that the woman you are dating will only want you for sex. Older women want quality relationships with sex as only one factor.

3.  Younger men need to pursue an older woman just like they would a younger female. Older women are not any different from a younger women in the dating sense. Sure older women are more secure in who she is and isn’t and she may also have a rockin’ career. Just treat her as any other woman when getting to know her.

4.  Always remember older women are ok being alone. There is a common misconception that older women are “desperate” or “need” a  male. Of course, this is not true in the majority of cases as older women are just more secure in most areas of her life. Look at it like an older woman prefer’s you in her life. She doesn’t need you.

5.  Communication is key to making this type of relationship work. This is perhaps the most important aspect of the older women younger man relationship. If you communicate exactly what you’re seeking in her and her in you, then everything will just flow smooth.

6.  Avoid labels. Do not refer to an older woman as a “cougar” nor should there be reference to her being a “sugar momma”. By avoiding these labels, you are respecting the relationship.

7.   Avoid discussing age unless absolutely necessary. There is no need to mention her age as an older woman is well aware of her age and how old you are.

8.  If it’s more than sex, take things slow. Sure the sex is hot but if your desire is leaning towards more of a relationship than actually date. Get to know her without the bedroom.

9.  Be Assertive when asking an older woman out. Be direct as there is nothing sexier to a woman then a man who knows what he wants.

10. Older women are from a different dating era. This is very important to me personally, as dating rules have changed. If an older woman offers to go “dutch” or pay for the meal, decline and insist that you pay. If you don’t she will automatically think your not worthy of her attention. Insist that its your pleasure to pay as this will show her you have class and can take care of her needs outside of the bedroom.

Bottom Line:

Recently I have been contacted by younger men on the MeetMe website. Yes, I am dating and seek only online since I am not into hanging out at bars. In fact, just this past weekend I went out with a 29-year-old gentlemen who stated he was “taken with me”.  I am 45 and was quite floored that a hot 6’6 29-year-old would be interested in me.

After our dinner date he wanted to get a hotel room to, and as he put it, “cuddle”. To which I laughed and stated, “Don’t you mean have great sex?” He replied, “I am not like that. I happen to find you very attractive and sexy and can control myself while cuddling.” (Yea right! LOL) Needless to say, “cuddling” with me in a hotel room was not happening…at least not that night.

While I understand the attraction of how a younger man is attracted to me as an older, hot, experienced woman, I am also careful. For me, it’s not about being alone or “needing” a man. At this point in my life I do know what I want from a man…and that is to be loved in the real sense.

As an older woman, I am beyond just wanting sex even though the lucky man will (no matter the age of the man) get his fill and then some. For me it’s about quality not the quantity. The above 10 tips are what I came up with based on the fact that the last 4 dates I have been on are all men who are in their late 20’s or early 30’s.

Posted in Dating, Rants

Does real love exist anymore?

Cheating

I was talking with a couple of co-worker’s yesterday about love and if real love still exists. What I heard was a little disturbing as there is this mind-set in younger individuals that its ok to cheat on their spouses, significant others, or girlfriends/boyfriends because of the want for something “different”. What? Are you kidding me? Maybe I am just old-fashioned but this just blows my mind.

The burning question is does real love exist anymore? A couple of my co-workers laughed when I asked that. You see, what I learned by talking to each is that there are people who really believe it’s ok to cheat because he or she has a “want” for something or someone different even though they are committed to another. I mean why would you want to be with one person when there are many other men and women who enjoy satisfying those “wants”. Of course, with no regard to the people in his or her lives they are hurting. Let’s not even get into the topic of safe sex either. It just grosses me out to think that both men and women will be with another person or person’s without protection. What they don’t realize is that if this person is cheating with you then they are cheating with others. YUK! It’s like a hodge podge for gross microscopic cootie he he bugs to grow and take over your brain and other bodily functions.

Dating1

From my own personal experiences lately men are always playing. See this recent blog You lie like a rug! about a guy who only wanted to play around and lied about his intentions to me. Seems like men are playing while they are getting to know you and they are playing when they are seeing you. I am supposing that there are too many options to resist temptation see also previous blog called Dating Rant 2: Too Many Options Guys!. I would hate to think that men just go from woman to woman until one brave lone woman actually chains him down and beats him into submission. Oh my, where did that come from? LOL In all seriousness, maybe that’s what it would take.

Upon further conversation with my co-workers, I learned that in this new dating world, playing around is acceptable. What? Looking grief-stricken here. Once again, I guess I am old-fashioned in my thinking but aren’t you suppose to meet someone and fall in love or at the very least, madly in lust; get to know them, and only them? What has happened to real love and romance? Is chivalry and romance dead?

Bottom Line:

The bottom line is this: love is a rarity. If you happen to find love; treasure that love.

This is an interesting article written by a man on Why Chivarly is Dead From a Mans Perspective.

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Posted in Dating

Does your man or woman mention his ex a lot?

A3KPPY

Are you dating someone who continually mentions an ex? This is a huge warning sign that he or she is not over them. Here is some helpful dating tips to see if your new man or woman is still pinning for his or her ex. To keep from overusing he and she and him and her a lot I will use the male example.

Here are some signs he is still into his ex:

1. He mentions his ex a lot. This is a sure sign he is still thinking about her. It’s ok to discuss ex’s at the appropriate times especially when you are in the ‘getting to know you’ phase as long you are both sharing. But if after 3 dates he is still talking about her, there are still unresolved feelings there.

Kell Kell’s Take on This: Can anyone say ‘red flag’? Make that a huge red flag! Time to say thank you, but no thank you. Next!

2. He compares you to her. This is a huge warning sign that he is still thinking about the ex. It is not ok for a man (or a woman) to compare you to another person. Each person is unique. So if he is comparing you to her then he’s not over her.

Kell Kell’s Take on This: Time to move on and wave bye-bye! Quickly before your self-confidence deflate’s and you want to eat a gallon of ice cream. Trust me he is not worth the aggravation.

3. He slips up and calls you by her name. This one sign is a big ‘no no’ even though we all know how goofy a person can be in this regard. But if your man is making love to you and he mentions her name, then he is definitely thinking about her and not you. This is just plain insulting. How can anyone mention someone elses name while being intimate?

Kell Kell’s Take on This: Run away as fast as you can! Don’t even worry if you leave a shoe in the process, just run.

4. He doesn’t introduce you to his friends. If a man is not talking about you and how awesome you are to everyone then he is not thinking about you. When a man is really into you he will mention you to everyone including first and foremost, his best buddies.

Kell Kell’s Take on This: Show up at one of his “buddies night out” events and dress really sexy and hot. Then introduce yourself to all his hot single friends. This will not only make him mad (or think your stalker material) but will point out you don’t need him to be introduced to his friends. Think of it as taking matters into your own hands. Plus, one of his friends could be the one for you and end up asking you out. Since he has not mentioned you to them this should not be an issue.

5. He maintains constant contact with the ex insisting that they are now only good friends. If your man is texting the ex regularly, liking her Facebook status’, calling her with ‘news’ good or otherwise in his life, then he is still pinning for her. He is maintaining contact hoping that she will eventually change her mind otherwise he would not care about her Facebook status’ or how her day is going.

Kell Kell’s Take on This: This is just plain wrong. How can anyone want to maintain communication of any form with someone who doesn’t want to be with you anymore? Not to beat a dead horse here but run and throw something at him to make your point and we’ll see if he calls you repeatedly like he does his ex.

Bottom Line:

Once its over it’s over. An individual would think a breakup is just that, but some individuals have a harder time getting over someone particularly if they were a couple for a long time; like a year or more. While breakups are not easy, its important to move forward but not at the expense of a nice person who just happens to find you attractive. Be respectful and make sure you’re really over the ex before dating someone new.

http://www.ivillage.com/9-signs-hes-not-over-his-ex/4-a-517747

http://thestir.cafemom.com/love_sex/135528/20_signs_hes_not_over

http://www.datingwithoutdrama.com/your-guy-is-still-talking-to-his-ex-should-you-be-concerned/