Posted in Relationships

Can men and women be friends?

The old adage is true: the number of true friends you have can be counted on one hand. A true friend is an effortless relationship in a judgement free zone. True friends share the good and the bad in each others life. You are moral support for each other. A real friend is rare. You’ve known this best friend forever. This best friend happens to be a member of the opposite sex.

Can you only be friends with him or her?


For the most part women tend to be more honest in opposite sex friendships than men. Men tend to view women on a sexual level. Why? Well, the experts say it is because men are wired different from women. The results are this; men will at some point want to be more than friends with a female friend or at the very least “think” about having sex with her. Women will stay with a male friend (non-sexual) for the emotional and physical support he may give. Women will put their male friends in the “friend zone” which men hate.

There are exceptions though. For those that are true friends here is a list of what to look for if your friend of either sex wants more in the relationship.

How do you identify if your really only a friend?

~If you get jealous of your friend around another of the opposite sex. This means that if you feel possessive of the relationship to the point that you do not want your friend to have opposite sex relationships than you look at this person as more than a friend.

~You want to spend unusual amounts of time with this person. Friends don’t plan or focus on times spent together. So if you want to spend more than the average of once or twice a week with your friend than you maybe wanting more than friendship.

~You’re physically attracted to your friend. This is sort of no-brainer. If you look at your friend and think they are hot and would love to see more of him or her than you are definitely looking at your friend as more than a friend.

~You daydream about your friend in a romantic way. Daydreaming about your friend in a romantic sense is actually more common than people realize. This does not mean that you want to be with that person sexually but you do need evaluate why you are thinking that way to begin with. Maybe it is time to have a conversation with your friend about taking the friendship to another level.

The bottom line is this: Men who say they can be friends with a woman and ONLY be friends maybe trying to hide the fact he is attracted to his female friend (s). Unless the man is gay. Sorry guys but if you don’t believe me just click on the links from the pro’s.


~Psychology Today: Can men and women be just friends?

~Huffington Post: Can men and women be “just friends”?

~Watch this video showing men admitting they want to be more than friends

Posted in Rants

Online Romance Weirdness

True Story: I met a man online who believed he was in love with me after only chatting and talking on the phone for 2 days. I was shocked when this man started using the “L” word right away. I must be going crazy as “the times” sure have changed if a person can be in love with someone before he or she even talks to each other.


Disclosure: this man in the pic is not  the man I chatted/talked with. This is a random crazy pic to make you think about online romances. LOL

I can understand how my words inspire many. I have a gift and I am truly not being arrogant when I say I do have a way with words. Google+ is my newest venue for my writings even more so than my blog lately.

Follow me on Google+ by clicking on this sentence!

This began when I said thank you to this man who was always +1’ing  my posts. I was being nice. Then we began chatting in Hangouts. At this point he seemed relatively harmless so I suggested we talk on the phone. Since the man in question lives in Hawaii, I was ok talking on the phone. It’s not like he was close enough to come knocking at my door.

Within two phone calls he was saying how in love he was with me and he claimed I was also in love with him; yet not able to express this to him verbally yet. Are you kidding me? I still laugh when I think about it. What man actually believes that I could say I am in love with someone I have barely begun to know?

The Ending: This ended rather abruptly as it began. I simply texted him telling him I do not have time for this.  He went off of course, and I  realized how lucky I was that I never actually met this psycho.

I never said I loved him.

I want to state that I am not against meeting someone online. In fact, I believe I will meet my next mate from an online venue. I just feel that this peticular person was crazy to fall in love so quickly. It makes me wonder if this person was so desperate that they would say anything just to be in love again. I mean we all crave someone special. I am a great person to know and I do want a man to be in love with me. When this happens for me I want to know he really loves me because he has taken the time to really really really know me.

This man has his own blog and even went off saying how crazy I was so I thought I would respond. As a woman I will always have the last word. Ha!


Follow me on Google+ by clicking on this sentence!

Posted in Dating

How do you know if a woman is interested in you?

How do you know if a woman is interested in you? Well, that can be the question of all questions. Am I right or am I right?  I know you guys get frustrated as us women can be fickle creatures.

A few months ago I posted a blog for women titled How do you know if a man is truly interested in you?. To date, that is the top searched blog, so I decided to create a blog for men to help them know when a woman is truly interested in them. Here are 8 signs a woman is interested in Y O U and what to look for.

1. Initial Attraction: If she is attracted to you she is smiling and maintaining eye contact. When you first meet will tell you everything you need to know guys; just let her be your focus. If a woman is attracted to you she will be smiling or laughing at everything you say and do. She will also be looking directly at you and checking you out.

Intial Attraction

What to look for: She will provide her contact info rather quickly when you first ask. This is a sure sign of interest. The key to keeping her attention focused on you is to communicate by text or calling within 24 hrs. Forget the 3 day rule as she could have moved on by then.

2. Use Humor to keep our Attention: Women love a man who can make her smile and laugh. This not only holds our attention but makes us more attracted to you. Plus, women love to laugh or smile to a sexy man we want to get to know better.

What to look for: If a woman is laughing or smiling at everything you say or do, even if you know your not funny, this is clear indication she is interested. Just think of the laugh as a mating call. Yes, I said it; a mating call.

3. Acting Indifferent: All women like a challenge. When a hot guy is interested in us we want to know it but we also want you to act “a little indifferent”. What this means is that maybe you should not be always calling or texting, or “act” like your not interested sexually. This will drive a woman crazy and will make us focus on a guy more. However, always maintain contact as a woman will move on rather quickly or another male may step-up.

What to look for: If she is texting or calling and acting a little stalkerly, this is a sure sign she is wanting your attention. This means she wants to go out and or spend time with you. Just don’t be in too much of a hurry as this will make us want you more. Yea, I know this sounds rather redundant but it works.

4. Connect with Women Emotionally: A great way to build an emotional connection with a woman is to discuss goals, future plans, values, and common interests. Being open allows for clear expectations and the potential for established trust; which in turn leads to real love. Remember though don’t discuss goals, values, and future plans on the first date because this shows true interest in a woman by waiting until the third or fourth date.

What to look for: If a woman is truly interested in getting to know you better, she will respond to you with her goals, future plans, values, and common interests. She may even have a list of these in her overly large purse, in a folder, to present to you. (Yes, some women are just thoughtful like that! LOL)

5. Women want Romance: Yea, yea I know you guys get frustrated by this aspect of dating, but women really want and need romance. Women like knowing your thinking of us when you give us flowers, or buy dinner, or even something as simple as holding our hand and walking slowly together while talking. Just remember that romance isn’t always about buying things to make us smile; sometimes all is takes is creativity in planning a special night. Plus, the best gift you could give a woman is your 100% time and attention.


What to look for: Women who like to be romanced will respond positively to your romantic gestures. She will be consistently smiling at you and will certainly reward you with a long warm hug or maybe even a kiss. You will catch her smiling a lot and lowering her eyes every time she sees you looking at her.

6. Exhibit Dominance: A man should exhibit a fair amount of dominance to a woman. This shows her your confident and tend to go after what you want. Women are more attracted to men who exhibit dominance even if your more the submissive type sexually. However, exhibiting dominance is no excuse to treat a lady abusively. There is a fine line here, but I think you get the point.

What to look for: A woman will show she likes your forwardness by letting you make ‘certain’ decisions. For instance, she will want you to plan the dates and take care of the details. Another example would be a woman letting you touch her in a non-sexual manner; like on the upper back, arms, or shoulders. Now while some women believe themselves to be dominant, deep down all women want a man to protect and care for her needs. A woman who is more dominant in her everyday life will want a man who is able to handle her and turn her into a purring kitten.

7. Women want a man who is FUN: Guys guys guys! Women want to have fun. I know this may seem like a lot of work at times but really how hard is it to exhibit some dominance in planning a great date venue. Find out what interests you both and then get creative. You could suggest something new and see if she is game. Either way, you will peak her interest as you are showing her you want to explore different avenues and the date wont be the typical dinner and movie.

What to look for: If a woman cannot wait for the next date and expressed this to you before the end of the evening; this is a clear indication she had a great time. Look for a text after the date, either the night of or the next morning regarding her great date with you.

8. Sexual Mastery: Last but certainly not least, women want a man who knows how to please her in the bedroom. Woman also like knowing a man is educated in this department. We want a skilled lover that will leave us feeling incredible until we are able to see you again.


What to look for: You will know a woman is happy in this department when she can’t get enough of being with you in this regard.  She might even drag you back into the bedroom for round two or three or four please? Come on if you’re doing this right then you know she will be thinking about you for days dreaming of the next encounter you sexy animal you.

Posted in Rants

Men and Sexting-GEEZ!

What is up with males now-a-days? I am getting tired of your games. I mean seriously what are you up too by calling or texting me here and there wanting to maintain contact but not taking it to the next level? I think some of you have too many options. I wrote about this earlier in the year because men really do get to know more than one woman at a time. Now while I understand this concept, no matter how stupid it is, I know I make it clear that I am not about games and am looking for real love.


So what are you doing? You play games. Why?

Let’s see, a most recent example was just last week. I met a guy the weekend before last who I went out and had a nice time with. This man now texts every now and then but states to me just this past weekend he had a “guy” night planned. Really? I didn’t even know guys planned “guy nights”. Come on do you think I am stupid? A “guy night” on a Saturday night? LOL Maybe one of those “many options” was at the “guys night out” event.

So I did a little experiment with him. I decided to start texting him  all sexual on Monday. What do they call this…ummm sexting? LOL And behold all the sudden I have his attention again. Are all men this predictable? You mention sex or anything regarding great sex and all the sudden your phone is blasted with all kinds of communication. No matter how busy he was previous now he is texting like crazy. He is also all the sudden wanting to get together again. Nice. LOL

There is another guy who called me last night. Yea, the same night I was “sexting” with my newest friend. LOL I ignored his call at first until he started texting why I was not answering his call. So I called him. I asked him why he and I only communicate like once a month or there bouts. He stated to me, ” I get into moods like The Grinch, where I don’t want to talk with anyone.” Uh huh? LOL I mean you have got to be kidding me. Makes me wonder how many options you have as well, considering at 10:30pm he stated all the sudden he had to go since his mother was calling him. LOL Right! Probably one of those “options” trying to get his attention too.

I just don’t get what you guys are up too. Women like myself have options too. I guess I am more the kind of woman who wants a ONE-ON-ONE type of relationship with limited options if any at all. I prefer to save all my sexy hotness for one lucky man. Why do men feel the need to cat around? Is there any man who just wants to get to know ONE woman?


Posted in Dating

Does your man or woman mention his ex a lot?


Are you dating someone who continually mentions an ex? This is a huge warning sign that he or she is not over them. Here is some helpful dating tips to see if your new man or woman is still pinning for his or her ex. To keep from overusing he and she and him and her a lot I will use the male example.

Here are some signs he is still into his ex:

1. He mentions his ex a lot. This is a sure sign he is still thinking about her. It’s ok to discuss ex’s at the appropriate times especially when you are in the ‘getting to know you’ phase as long you are both sharing. But if after 3 dates he is still talking about her, there are still unresolved feelings there.

Kell Kell’s Take on This: Can anyone say ‘red flag’? Make that a huge red flag! Time to say thank you, but no thank you. Next!

2. He compares you to her. This is a huge warning sign that he is still thinking about the ex. It is not ok for a man (or a woman) to compare you to another person. Each person is unique. So if he is comparing you to her then he’s not over her.

Kell Kell’s Take on This: Time to move on and wave bye-bye! Quickly before your self-confidence deflate’s and you want to eat a gallon of ice cream. Trust me he is not worth the aggravation.

3. He slips up and calls you by her name. This one sign is a big ‘no no’ even though we all know how goofy a person can be in this regard. But if your man is making love to you and he mentions her name, then he is definitely thinking about her and not you. This is just plain insulting. How can anyone mention someone elses name while being intimate?

Kell Kell’s Take on This: Run away as fast as you can! Don’t even worry if you leave a shoe in the process, just run.

4. He doesn’t introduce you to his friends. If a man is not talking about you and how awesome you are to everyone then he is not thinking about you. When a man is really into you he will mention you to everyone including first and foremost, his best buddies.

Kell Kell’s Take on This: Show up at one of his “buddies night out” events and dress really sexy and hot. Then introduce yourself to all his hot single friends. This will not only make him mad (or think your stalker material) but will point out you don’t need him to be introduced to his friends. Think of it as taking matters into your own hands. Plus, one of his friends could be the one for you and end up asking you out. Since he has not mentioned you to them this should not be an issue.

5. He maintains constant contact with the ex insisting that they are now only good friends. If your man is texting the ex regularly, liking her Facebook status’, calling her with ‘news’ good or otherwise in his life, then he is still pinning for her. He is maintaining contact hoping that she will eventually change her mind otherwise he would not care about her Facebook status’ or how her day is going.

Kell Kell’s Take on This: This is just plain wrong. How can anyone want to maintain communication of any form with someone who doesn’t want to be with you anymore? Not to beat a dead horse here but run and throw something at him to make your point and we’ll see if he calls you repeatedly like he does his ex.

Bottom Line:

Once its over it’s over. An individual would think a breakup is just that, but some individuals have a harder time getting over someone particularly if they were a couple for a long time; like a year or more. While breakups are not easy, its important to move forward but not at the expense of a nice person who just happens to find you attractive. Be respectful and make sure you’re really over the ex before dating someone new.

Posted in Dating

Can you change someone?


You finally met the dream guy or girl. Both start dating and notice behaviors that are not entirely positive. What do you do? What if you have been living with each other and are really vested in the relationship? Can you change someone? The answer is simple. You can’t change another person. I will repeat, you cannot change a person. The person has to want to change themselves.

Lets look at an example:

Girl meets guy and guy says “Let me take you out, cause I am Mr. Romance and your hot!”

Girl says, “Sure”, and giggles, as she likes what she sees too. “But I have to tell you I can’t be around smokers or someone who drinks or does drugs everyday.” Tilting her head she smiles prettily at the guy.

He stares at her, smiles back, and says, “I do smoke and I enjoy the ‘occasional drink’. These are not problems really so lets plan something tonight”.

The girl at this point is thinking, ‘Well at least he is honest, maybe I should give him a chance and see if he will quit smoking after being with me a couple of dates. He will like me so much, he will want to quite smoking.’ The girl says yes, already compromising her dating criteria.

Now this is where it gets sticky.

The guy and the girl go out that very evening and guy is romantic and dashing. At the end of dinner while sitting outside on a restaurant patio, the guy lights up a cigarette and orders a long island tea.

Guy offers to buy girl the same drink; girl declines. Guy gets more and more plastered with a second, third, and fourth long island tea all the while smoking like a chimney. Girl realizes guy cannot drive and will have to take guy home in her car. Girl drives guy home and offers to take him inside. Guy lets girl into his apartment forgetting, because he is drunk, he has empty booze bottles scattered everywhere since he parties every night he can. Girl realizes this guy has issues with alcohol and tonight isn’t a one night occurrence.

The first thing a reasonable person does is to communicate the behavior or try to discuss the issue. But what if that doesn’t work because that person is not wanting to change or does not believe they are doing anything wrong? Ah the dilemma!

Let’s say the girl gives the guy another chance after he calls her two days later apologizing for having ‘too good a time’. On a second date the girl notices the guy has 3 drinks. Once again, girl has to drive him home and see’s alcohol bottles everywhere. This guy obviously lied about having a drinking problem.

Girl decides to discuss this in-depth with guy. Guy ultimately states to girl, “I don’t have a drinking problem. I just like to drink when I go out on dates. It relaxes me.”

Girl realizes guy lied to her and gives guy this ultimatum, “If you can’t stop drinking and smoking, then I’m afraid we cannot see each other anymore.”

Guy insists he doesn’t have a problem drinking.

Bottom Line: 

As a woman, I am guilty of the above story. I have dated men whom I thought I could influence enough to change negative behaviors only to find out that some men just do what they want when you’re not around. I am sure men have the same problems and issues with dating women. Over time I learned that if the person I am dating is not already the person I am seeking, or close enough to what I am looking for, then I just do not get involved to begin with. If I am vested in the relationship and then find a ‘secret whatever’ habit, it’s simply best to walk away. This is not always easy as loving someone puts a different spin on situations however, I have learned to love myself more.

A person can change if they want to change.

NO ONE can make a person change unless he or she is ready or willing to actually become a better person.

Click on the link and tell me if you agree or disagree.  🙂

Posted in Dating, Rants

Dating Rant 1


Show me an honest male and I will show you a woman who can keep her mouth shut-HA! Please! Do not fool yourself into thinking that people tell the truth. I have been single many years and each time I start “looking” for a male I am confronted with the realization that people just cannot tell the truth. Yes, this is about my personal experience from an online website that I find highly amusing at times as the men can get pretty creative in their “story telling”.

This morning I get on my popular “online dating” site wanting to see if a guy I liked got my message regarding texting and the exchanging of phone numbers.  I gave this man my number since I liked him so far, he was local, we have communicated for a while, and there was (I thought) a genuine interest. This was on the 4th of July.

Now this morning, I get a message from him saying “sorry I lost your number”.  How do you lose a number when it was in an email “type of message” on the site that confirms any kind of deletion, before permanent deletion? LOL  REALLY? I mean come on dude! I know from personal experience that when a man is really interested (and is serious) he will NOT “lose” a womans phone number. Plus, I asked my coworker, after telling him the story, what he thought. He replied by stating, “Men don’t lose phone numbers of women they are really interested in. It’s a fact.”

You want to know what I think happened? There are two scenarios here.

One scenario is that you are “talking” with many woman and you met someone who you really want to get to know (and I bet you didn’t lose their number by accident, of course). Now in this scenario, why would you keep messaging me asking me questions and flirting etc..? Why not just say to me, “You’re a beautiful and nice person, but I have met someone else and would like to get to know them.” It’s really that simple.

The second scenario and most likely one, is that you already have a significant other, or you are married. Now in this scenario if I find out that you lied to me about being single, I am DONE with you. This happens immediately. I do not tolerate liars. Communication stops immediately.

I dated a man a few years ago who said he was single with no kids. We went out on 3 dates total. On each date he would want to get “frisky” (at my place, but never at his).  However, I wont get intimate with someone until I know them VERY well and I have met his friends and family. Well, right after the 3rd date I received a phone call from a woman identifying herself as this mans WIFE. Yes, HIS WIFE. Needless to say, me and her had a very long conversation about her husband and his dating habits. I told her everything regarding my experience with her husband even though she cried a lot. He also had 2 kids…sad someone would deny even their kids.

I can’t stand men who lie…where are the HONEST MEN?