Posted in Rants

Do men really want brains over beauty?

do not fall

Do men really want brains over beauty? Come on now, no man really believes that being with an intelligent/confident woman is better than being with a beautiful/hotbodied woman. Men cannot help attraction. I personally think it’s an excuse but, whatever.  I think you guys want to have your cake and eat it too but sometimes it goes way wrong for you. Which is just punishment when you choose wrong.

Emotional justice happens when a man passes you over for another women who may have a better body or she is younger or she is  just generally better looking than you only to find out that woman is a complete and utter bitch. As a fat girl I do not have this problem in regards to being beautiful. I know I am! I am humble like that. haha!

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In my past dating relationships I have met men who were only with me until someone better came along. Now while you maybe thinking, “why would you ever put up with that?” or “don’t you have more respect for yourself?” or even  “why would you even date someone like that?”

Those are all valid questions, however no woman can answer these as some men are very good at hiding their true intentions. But as for me, I figure the players out rather quickly. The first date usually tells me everything I need to know.  Some men are really good at hiding these intentions and it will take another date or two to figure out the real reason you want to date. Sex. It’s always about sex.

Dont get me wrong, sex is good. Sex is something everyone enjoys and if you don’t than there is something wrong with you. Not even being a fat girl keeps me from enjoying sex. Sex is great and should be enjoyed at any body size. Men make women feel inadequate during sex. They do this by how they react to seeing a woman in her birthday suit. They do this by making comments like “you could lose a few pounds” or “if you had bigger boobs that would be so sexy”. Its statements like that which make women feel less than adequate.

Hey guys! Just so you know, we ladies already feel inadequate enough without you making it worse. You say you want brains over beauty or that intelligence matters more than body size but this is bullshit. Plain and simple bullshit. If you really chose brains over beauty than you would already be married; you would already be happy; you would be with the one who would give you everything.

Instead you choose a hot body and a pretty face with no happiness. If you’re not happy you have no one to blame but yourself.

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Rant complete!

 

Posted in Dating

If he is not calling or texting; he is not into you

In January 2014 I started seeing someone who currently I am not seeing anymore. I have known this man for 2 years off and on as we communicated only by online, phone, and text communication. I met him for the first time right after the New Year and we started seeing each other as time would allow us both. I have to admit I enjoyed his kisses and massages very much.

Then in the third week of us seeing each other he states he has to leave to Texas for a job that will last 3-4 months. Right up until he leaves I am  telling him how much I am going to miss him. I make time for him; to spend as much time together as possible thinking he is feeling the same way. He assured me we would talk often while he is gone, and text daily as we have been. I told him I didn’t want him to see anyone while he was gone. He assured me things had changed for him too and that he would miss me as well.

The day he leaves Friday, we are talking and texting. The next day or the first official day he is there….nothing. So I text and try to call him. Nothing. Then on Sunday morning he texts with “good morning”.  We talk shortly after that and I am upset with him since he has not answered his phone or texted. He ends up hanging up on me stating he doesn’t like confrontation. I was stunned. I texted him telling him he has hurt me by his behavior.  He texts back that he will text me when he stops as he was heading to the local Zoo and that he was not in contact because he has had the “shits” all day. LOL yea that’s what he actually texted.

He has yet to text or call me since that last text on Sunday.

player

I honestly don’t know what to make of a man who leaves for work in another state and all the sudden does not call or text anymore. This after calling me everyday and texting all the time, along with being intimate. Dumb me for believing when he said he was not like other men.  One word: PLAYER. It seems like this is what is in the dating field lately. I wonder if anyone wants to be with someone permanently anymore. Romance seems to be dead as I have yet to meet a man who will go to great lengths to, even in the smallest way, spoil me. Sigh…

What’s sad is I somewhat allowed this kind of behavior. But I am learning with each PLAYER how to handle the next. Doesn’t matter whether you are thin or fat, this is simply how men are to ladies. Grant you some men will hang around longer if they have nothing better to do with their time as being with someone keeps them from being totally alone. But lets face it, most men only want to play around and if you are not giving them sex they won’t come around.

I know not all men are like this. I do know we live in a culture now that being single has surpassed being married. Whatever happened to two people, a man and a woman, staying together and making it work?

Update:

I posted general information on Facebook that I am no longer seeing this man. All the sudden other men are asking to date me and be given a chance to get to know me. Since I was never taken by this man I am going to continue to date. One of these men contacts me and was a previous suitor that only wanted sex; even though he has adamantly stated he wants a best friend. LOL Yea I seem to attract them.

Bottom Line Ladies:

If he is  not calling or texting; he is not into you.

If he is not wanting to spend every single second of his free time with you; he is not into you.

If he is not romancing you and doing everything to make you smile; he is not into you.

Nothing will stop a man from being with you when he really wants to be with you. Men are simple like that.

Posted in Dating

How do you know if a woman is interested in you?

How do you know if a woman is interested in you? Well, that can be the question of all questions. Am I right or am I right?  I know you guys get frustrated as us women can be fickle creatures.

A few months ago I posted a blog for women titled How do you know if a man is truly interested in you?. To date, that is the top searched blog, so I decided to create a blog for men to help them know when a woman is truly interested in them. Here are 8 signs a woman is interested in Y O U and what to look for.

1. Initial Attraction: If she is attracted to you she is smiling and maintaining eye contact. When you first meet will tell you everything you need to know guys; just let her be your focus. If a woman is attracted to you she will be smiling or laughing at everything you say and do. She will also be looking directly at you and checking you out.

Intial Attraction

What to look for: She will provide her contact info rather quickly when you first ask. This is a sure sign of interest. The key to keeping her attention focused on you is to communicate by text or calling within 24 hrs. Forget the 3 day rule as she could have moved on by then.

2. Use Humor to keep our Attention: Women love a man who can make her smile and laugh. This not only holds our attention but makes us more attracted to you. Plus, women love to laugh or smile to a sexy man we want to get to know better.

What to look for: If a woman is laughing or smiling at everything you say or do, even if you know your not funny, this is clear indication she is interested. Just think of the laugh as a mating call. Yes, I said it; a mating call.

3. Acting Indifferent: All women like a challenge. When a hot guy is interested in us we want to know it but we also want you to act “a little indifferent”. What this means is that maybe you should not be always calling or texting, or “act” like your not interested sexually. This will drive a woman crazy and will make us focus on a guy more. However, always maintain contact as a woman will move on rather quickly or another male may step-up.

What to look for: If she is texting or calling and acting a little stalkerly, this is a sure sign she is wanting your attention. This means she wants to go out and or spend time with you. Just don’t be in too much of a hurry as this will make us want you more. Yea, I know this sounds rather redundant but it works.

4. Connect with Women Emotionally: A great way to build an emotional connection with a woman is to discuss goals, future plans, values, and common interests. Being open allows for clear expectations and the potential for established trust; which in turn leads to real love. Remember though don’t discuss goals, values, and future plans on the first date because this shows true interest in a woman by waiting until the third or fourth date.

What to look for: If a woman is truly interested in getting to know you better, she will respond to you with her goals, future plans, values, and common interests. She may even have a list of these in her overly large purse, in a folder, to present to you. (Yes, some women are just thoughtful like that! LOL)

5. Women want Romance: Yea, yea I know you guys get frustrated by this aspect of dating, but women really want and need romance. Women like knowing your thinking of us when you give us flowers, or buy dinner, or even something as simple as holding our hand and walking slowly together while talking. Just remember that romance isn’t always about buying things to make us smile; sometimes all is takes is creativity in planning a special night. Plus, the best gift you could give a woman is your 100% time and attention.

Romantic

What to look for: Women who like to be romanced will respond positively to your romantic gestures. She will be consistently smiling at you and will certainly reward you with a long warm hug or maybe even a kiss. You will catch her smiling a lot and lowering her eyes every time she sees you looking at her.

6. Exhibit Dominance: A man should exhibit a fair amount of dominance to a woman. This shows her your confident and tend to go after what you want. Women are more attracted to men who exhibit dominance even if your more the submissive type sexually. However, exhibiting dominance is no excuse to treat a lady abusively. There is a fine line here, but I think you get the point.

What to look for: A woman will show she likes your forwardness by letting you make ‘certain’ decisions. For instance, she will want you to plan the dates and take care of the details. Another example would be a woman letting you touch her in a non-sexual manner; like on the upper back, arms, or shoulders. Now while some women believe themselves to be dominant, deep down all women want a man to protect and care for her needs. A woman who is more dominant in her everyday life will want a man who is able to handle her and turn her into a purring kitten.

7. Women want a man who is FUN: Guys guys guys! Women want to have fun. I know this may seem like a lot of work at times but really how hard is it to exhibit some dominance in planning a great date venue. Find out what interests you both and then get creative. You could suggest something new and see if she is game. Either way, you will peak her interest as you are showing her you want to explore different avenues and the date wont be the typical dinner and movie.

What to look for: If a woman cannot wait for the next date and expressed this to you before the end of the evening; this is a clear indication she had a great time. Look for a text after the date, either the night of or the next morning regarding her great date with you.

8. Sexual Mastery: Last but certainly not least, women want a man who knows how to please her in the bedroom. Woman also like knowing a man is educated in this department. We want a skilled lover that will leave us feeling incredible until we are able to see you again.

Lover

What to look for: You will know a woman is happy in this department when she can’t get enough of being with you in this regard.  She might even drag you back into the bedroom for round two or three or four please? Come on if you’re doing this right then you know she will be thinking about you for days dreaming of the next encounter you sexy animal you.

Posted in Dating, Rants

Does real love exist anymore?

Cheating

I was talking with a couple of co-worker’s yesterday about love and if real love still exists. What I heard was a little disturbing as there is this mind-set in younger individuals that its ok to cheat on their spouses, significant others, or girlfriends/boyfriends because of the want for something “different”. What? Are you kidding me? Maybe I am just old-fashioned but this just blows my mind.

The burning question is does real love exist anymore? A couple of my co-workers laughed when I asked that. You see, what I learned by talking to each is that there are people who really believe it’s ok to cheat because he or she has a “want” for something or someone different even though they are committed to another. I mean why would you want to be with one person when there are many other men and women who enjoy satisfying those “wants”. Of course, with no regard to the people in his or her lives they are hurting. Let’s not even get into the topic of safe sex either. It just grosses me out to think that both men and women will be with another person or person’s without protection. What they don’t realize is that if this person is cheating with you then they are cheating with others. YUK! It’s like a hodge podge for gross microscopic cootie he he bugs to grow and take over your brain and other bodily functions.

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From my own personal experiences lately men are always playing. See this recent blog You lie like a rug! about a guy who only wanted to play around and lied about his intentions to me. Seems like men are playing while they are getting to know you and they are playing when they are seeing you. I am supposing that there are too many options to resist temptation see also previous blog called Dating Rant 2: Too Many Options Guys!. I would hate to think that men just go from woman to woman until one brave lone woman actually chains him down and beats him into submission. Oh my, where did that come from? LOL In all seriousness, maybe that’s what it would take.

Upon further conversation with my co-workers, I learned that in this new dating world, playing around is acceptable. What? Looking grief-stricken here. Once again, I guess I am old-fashioned in my thinking but aren’t you suppose to meet someone and fall in love or at the very least, madly in lust; get to know them, and only them? What has happened to real love and romance? Is chivalry and romance dead?

Bottom Line:

The bottom line is this: love is a rarity. If you happen to find love; treasure that love.

This is an interesting article written by a man on Why Chivarly is Dead From a Mans Perspective.

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Posted in Dating, Healthy Living

Distorted Beauty: The Bottom Line

Beauty

There is a distorted version of beauty that not only destroys a person’s confidence but can actually destroy a person’s perception of themselves. This is so emotionally damaging to women and also to men. Why do Americans in peticular, have an ideal version of what beauty is or isn’t? I used to think I was just plain or not pretty, because I did not fit the standard image of what society thought I should be weight wise. For years, I have struggled with my weight; but this is only an outside image or the first impression of who I really am. The real beauty of me is within.

What is the ideal version of beauty? Good question eh? I asked random men what their version of beauty is and these are some of the answers I received: The ideal version of beauty is someone who is attractive physically, (no surprise there) the eyes, the smile, intelligent, giving, kind, loving, generous, and caring. Some went on to say, personality, the heart, honesty, the hair, the hands, and a willingness to assist her man.

From a womans perspective, men are a determining factor in making a woman feel beautiful. Rejection, unfaithfulness, and disloyalty from a man makes women feel like we are not pretty, skinny, or intelligent enough. Or maybe our hair is not long or short enough, or maybe we are so hurt that the personality keeps us from being loving, generous, or kind? Or maybe, and this is the crutch, we are too fat or obese or as some of you guys put it, “overly large”. Yep, this is mainly physical for guys, men cannot help this as they are visual creatures. But guess what guys, beauty fades.

From a man’s perspective, rejection from a woman can make a man feel less confident in future dating or relationship endeavors or less bold in asking a “pretty” lady out. This destroys a man self-confidence. Do you see the connection?

Why is it that men and women can’t simply see the best in each other?

Bottom Line:

Emotional health is very important to how we project ourselves to others. Because emotional health is so important, a person has to get beyond what society deems as “beautiful”.  It doesn’t matter what anyone thinks of you on the outside; all that matters is what you think of yourself on the inside. Knowing yourself is the key here and being ok in your own skin. If your overweight, you can change this; if your attitude needs adjustment, figure it out.

Everyday you, and men included, need to look in the mirror and state this, “I am a person of worth. I am worthy to be loved and to love. I am beautiful/handsome just as I am.”